【吐槽双声道】好不容易赢一次点球 英格兰都不知怎么庆祝了

今天，足球天空小毅给大家分享阿鲁姆带来的《【吐槽双声道】好不容易赢一次点球 英格兰都不知怎么庆祝了》。

吐槽双声道，一档无节操翻译栏目，主要素材来自国外吐槽社区reddit的足球版r/soccer，通过二次加工制造接地气笑点！

@瑞典 1-0 瑞士

[–]【England】_rickjames 328 points 8 hours ago

How Shaqiri can play professional football with no neck is beyond me.

搞不懂为什么沙奇里没脖子都能踢职业足球。

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[–]【Sweden】5_percent_discocunt 605 points 8 hours ago*

Neutral in wars

Expensive beer

One singularly famous tennis player

A cross on the flag

American"s can"t tell them apart even though they"re hundreds of miles away.

战时中立

啤酒很贵

有一个很有名的网球球员

国旗上有个十字

这俩国家隔了好几百英里，美国人却还是傻傻分不清楚。

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[–]【Sweden】IBandis 231 points 8 hours ago

I don"t feel safe having two Italians in charge of VAR

视频裁判组里有2个意大利人，我觉得很方

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[–]anomadichobo 924 points 6 hours ago

If you"re reading this, another Ricardo Rodriguez cross just hit the first defender.

要是你读到我的消息，那说明R罗又一次传中连第一个后卫都没过。

[–]【Real Madrid】Jabacha 84 points 6 hours ago

He either hit the first man or launched it over every man every cross

他的传中要么被第一个人挡了，要么就飞过禁区里所有人

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[–]jz68 658 points 6 hours ago

I"m not sure about the Swiss strategy of kicking the ball directly into the defender when attempting to cross.

瑞士进攻的时候传中直接往人身上踢，这战术我真的不是很懂。

[–]【Sweden】Cahootie 219 points 6 hours ago

The Swedish team is the second tallest in the tournament and they are great aerial players. There is a reason why Germamy played 7/8 corners short.

瑞典是本届身高第二的球队，而且球员高球也强。德国8个角球7个开短的不是没道理的。

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[–]【Sweden】Azeth 2318 points 6 hours ago

We"re not good. We just always makes sure we"re not worse than our opponent.

我们真不是强。我们只是每次都确保对手比我们更烂而已。

[–]【Sweden】Ewli 1694 points 6 hours ago

Bring people down to our level, and then we beat them with experience

把对手拉到我们的等级，然后用丰富的经验击败他们

[–]snusd0san 462 points 6 hours ago

Survived in a group with Netherlands and France in the qualifiers, beat Italy who hadn"t lost a WC place since like the stone age, won a group with fucking Germany and Mexico in the actual competition and now this, we"re in the quarterfinals. How do they do it? This feels like the summer of 94 all over again.

从荷兰和法国的小组晋级，打败了自从石器时代就没缺席过世界杯的意大利，在德国和墨西哥的小组拿到第一，然后现在进了1/4决赛。瑞典怎么做到的？感觉是94年之夏的重演。

[–]【Juventus】nondicereillesecrita 241 points 5 hours ago

IIRC the last time Italy didn"t qualify, Sweden reached the final.

上一次意大利没晋级世界杯，瑞典进了决赛。

[–]【Morocco】reallyreallyniceguy0 298 points 6 hours ago

You guys don’t have much individual quality but the World Cup is won by a team and this Sweden team keeps on impressing me. I can see you guys going all the way and i hope you do!

你们个人能力是不行，但世界杯是靠整体赢球的，这支瑞典不断惊艳到我。我看好你们一路杀进决赛，希望你们能做到！

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[–]【United States】ed_lv 561 points 6 hours ago

If Sweden plays Colombia in the next round, there will be nothing but yellow shirts in the stands.

That would actually be fun to see.

要是瑞典下一场打哥伦比亚，那全看台上都是黄衣服了。

看着肯定很带感。

[–]【Republic of Ireland】CLint_FLicker 224 points 6 hours ago

If Sweden play England in the next round, the papers will be making loads of references to Sven Goran Eriksson

要是瑞典下一轮打英格兰，那报纸要被埃里克森屠版了

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[–]【Australia】TheLifeofSonny 1592 points 7 hours ago

ffs Switzerland should be better at crossing given there"s a massive cross on their national flag

国旗上有那么大一个叉，瑞士应该很会传中才对啊

[–]【Uruguay】Schnackenpfeffer 1660 points 7 hours ago

Sweden"s cross is even bigger, that"s the problem

问题是人家瑞典的叉更大只

[–]【Sweden】comme_ci_comme_ca 438 points 7 hours ago

Correct logic.

这逻辑就对了。

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[–]【Hamburger SV】Kreiswix 289 points 7 hours ago

scenes in Germany if Sweden becomes world champion and we were the only team to beat them rubbin in

要是瑞典最后夺冠，而德国是唯一赢过他们的球队，到时候德国国内岂不是炸了

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[–]【Sweden】LilMarien 440 points 7 hours ago

I don"t care if it was ugly. We"re in the quarters baby

我不在乎什么丑陋不丑陋的。宝贝儿我们进半决赛啦

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[–]【Athletic Club】Laya_L 413 points 7 hours ago

I’m beginning to think Sweden will win the Cup and Italy was actually eliminated by a future World Cup winner.

我开始想瑞典可能会世界杯夺冠，而意大利其实是被后来的世界冠军给淘汰了。

[–]【Italy】Professor_HasNoClue 216 points 7 hours ago

I choose to believe this.

我选择相信。

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[–]【Flamengo】gonnj 1017 points 7 hours ago

Sweden Russia and Croatia in quarter finals just like everyone predicted

瑞典、俄罗斯和克罗地亚进1/4决赛，就像大家预料的那样

[–]【Leeds United】Boris_Ignatievich 563 points 7 hours ago

Croatia wasn"t waaay out there tbh. They"re a good side

说真的克罗地亚还好。这支球队还是不错的

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[–]【England】wwwiillll 728 points 7 hours ago

Italy died for this

意大利死也瞑目了

[–]【Sweden】faffri 720 points 7 hours ago

A lot of teams died for this

很多球队都瞑目了

[–]【Denmark】Masterofknees 292 points 7 hours ago

Italy, Holland, Germany, quite the list of casualties.

意大利、荷兰、德国，这阵亡名单够大牌的。

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[–]【Norway】TheVigilante1 512 points 7 hours ago

Deserved win for Sweden, but what a fucking boring match..

瑞典赢得实至名归，但尼玛这场比赛是真他妈无聊啊。

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@哥伦比亚 4-5 英格兰

[–]【Manchester City】_rajivvv 2778 points 2 hours ago

James didn’t even play but he still probably got the same amount of screen time as he would have if he did play

哈梅斯都没上场，但是他的出镜率应该跟上场了差不多

[–]Dynamaxion 913 points 2 hours ago

He"s a bit better looking from the stands than Maradona I must say.

必须要说，他在看台上比马拉多纳好看多了。

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[–]【Chicago Fire】bears2267 3499 points 2 hours ago

Colombia pulled an England against England

哥伦比亚在对英格兰的时候当了一把英格兰

[–]【England】Voidrive 1662 points 2 hours ago

Never go full England.

做人永远不能太英格兰

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[–]【Manchester United】envague 1054 points 2 hours ago

At this point England winning a penalty shootout is better than England winning the entire World Cup.

照目前看来，英格兰赢下点球大战简直比英格兰拿下世界杯还屌。

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[–]【Manchester United】StGrievous 1083 points 2 hours ago

I might be biased, but Rashford must have boulders between his legs. 20 years old, rather unexperienced even in this young England squad, and still vouches to take the second penalty. Congrats England!

可能我比较偏心曼联球员，但拉什福德这两腿之间怕是一只铁蛋吧，即便在这支英格兰他都是没经验的，但是还敢第二个罚点球。恭喜英格兰！

[–]【Belgium】Gilberreke 659 points 2 hours ago

not to mention this was his first penalty ever in his pro career. Kicked it like a boss. That was impressive

更不用说这是他生涯第二个点球。罚得就跟大佬一样。太惊人了

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[–]【Germany】0DegreesCalvin 1034 points 2 hours ago

Germany out in the group stage

France not mutinying and imploding

England through on penalties

We have entered the Twilight Zone and I fear there’s no going back

德国小组赛出局

法国没有兵变没有内讧

英格兰点球晋级

我们已经进入异次元，我看已经回不去了

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[–]【Real Madrid】Number333 5084 points 2 hours ago

This generation has actually snapped the fucking curse.

Can"t believe it. Well done England.

这一代竟然真的打破诅咒了。

难以置信。英格兰干得漂亮。

[–]【England】Voidrive 713 points 2 hours ago

God I genuinely thought we were out before shootout, the PTSD is real.

上帝啊，点球之前我真的觉得我们死定了，都有心理阴影了。

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[–]Arrozdruid 4689 points 3 hours ago

Lets all just celebrate that this game is over. What an absolute shitfest.

让我们庆祝这场比赛已经结束了吧。真是一场搅屎棍一样的比赛。

[–]【England】Voidrive 2973 points 2 hours ago

I miss Belgium v.s. Japan.

我真怀念比利时对日本。

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[–]【Arsenal】eros_omorfi 560 points 2 hours ago

England are used to not winning by penalties that they didn"t even know how to celebrate when they won.

英格兰都习惯点球出局了，真赢了竟然都不知道怎么庆祝了。

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