【吐槽双声道】斯特林化身英格兰伊瓜因 一踢单刀慌得一笔

今天，足球天空小毅给大家分享阿鲁姆带来的《【吐槽双声道】斯特林化身英格兰伊瓜因 一踢单刀慌得一笔》。

吐槽双声道，一档无节操翻译栏目，主要素材来自国外吐槽社区reddit的足球版r/soccer，通过二次加工制造接地气笑点！

@瑞典 0-2 英格兰

[–]【Australia】-ineedsomesleep- 703 points 4 hours ago

Best part of being a keeper is screaming at cunts when you get the ball.

当门将最爽的事就是拿球之后可以骂后卫。

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[–]【Liverpool】AonghusMacKilkenny 1227 points 4 hours ago

Heard there are chants of "You"re shit, but your girls are fit" from the England fans and "go home, to your ugly wives" from the Swedes

听到英格兰球迷唱“你们很翔，但你们的妹子很靓”，然后瑞典球迷唱“回家吧，找你们家丑媳妇儿去”

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[–]【England】STICKY-WHIFFY-HUMID 205 points 4 hours ago

Can we get rid of open play? Just reduce football to set pieces and we"ll be fine and dandy.

咱们以后能取消运动战吗？只打定位球我觉得我三喵稳得一笔。

[–]【England】SBRO 143 points 3 hours ago

The americans have a sport like that

美帝不就有个全是定位球的运动嘛

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[–]【England】tapebandit 1447 points 2 hours ago

What’s a “semi-final”? Don’t think I’ve seen one of those before.

半决赛是什么？感觉这辈子以前没见过这种东西啊。

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[–]【Tottenham Hotspur】Soulsseeker 1347 points 4 hours ago

I knew it was over once Sweden conceded a corner.

当瑞典都丢角球的时候，我就知道这球我们赢定了。

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[–]【Spain】LosTerminators 2218 points 4 hours ago

Imagine telling people before this WC began that England would last longer in this tournament than Brazil, Germany and Spain.

在世界杯之前，你能想象英格兰竟然会比巴西、德国和西班牙走得还远吗。

[–]【England】Dennace 970 points 4 hours ago

And Portugal and Argentina.

还有葡萄牙和阿根廷。

[–]TheMentallord 599 points 4 hours ago

Without their natural predator Portugal in the tournament, England are looking like they could win it all. Not even a penalty shootout was enough to stop them.

少了天敌葡萄牙，感觉应该这届真的有希望夺冠。连点球都没法阻止他们了。

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[–]【Chelsea】ljn1711 1654 points 4 hours ago

Pickford is the fucking man. Big reason we are in the semis

皮克福德真男人。能进半决赛多亏了他

[–]CoyoteStoleMyChicken 773 points 4 hours ago

He"s the most quintessentially British looking dude after Jamie Vardy.

他是我大英在瓦尔迪之后，长得最英国的人了。

[–]【Liverpool】jurwell 502 points 3 hours ago

Looks like he saves penalties by day, gets fucked on Scrumpy Jacks in the park by night.

感觉像是那种白天把点球扑掉，晚上被人在公园扑倒的孩子。

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[–]【Tottenham Hotspur】Kreygasm2233 2075 points 4 hours ago

Sterling needs that Football Manager slider "shoot less often" set to "pass to Kane"

斯特林需要调一下FM里的滑动条，“少射门”改成“多给凯恩传球”

[–]【England】Salsadips 653 points 4 hours ago

I really want him to score. He will be crazy good for us if he just gets the confidence he has at city.

我真的希望他能进球。要是他能找到在曼城的信心，在国家队绝对能爆棚。

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[–]【Detroit City FC】redeugene99 606 points 4 hours ago

Jesus Christ did Sweden send all their models to this game? The camera panned to a different hot Swedish chick every 2 minutes.

上帝啊，瑞典是把全国的模特都派过来了吗？镜头每2分钟就扫到一个瑞典辣妹。

[–]【Sweden】pizza_is_heavenly 480 points 4 hours ago

Nah the good looking ones are kept in Sweden.

毛，好的那些我们都留在家里了。

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[–]【Sweden】Olive_truth 902 points 4 hours ago

You deserved this win England. Still proud of our squad to reach so far!

英格兰这场你们实至名归。还是为我们的球队能走到这么远感到骄傲！

[–]【England】GruffyddApRhys 424 points 4 hours ago

Reaching the quarterfinals is nothing to be ashamed of that"s for damned sure!

打进1/4决赛已经没什么好丢人的了，这点杠杠滴！

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[–]【Barcelona】thoth2 2684 points 4 hours ago

2010: Pep Guardiola coaches in Spain - Spain win World Cup

2014: Pep Guardiola coaches in Germany - Germany win World Cup

2018: Pep Guardiola coaches in England - IT’S COMING HOME

2010：瓜在西班牙执教——西班牙世界杯冠军

2014：瓜在德国执教——德国世界杯冠军

2018：瓜在英格兰执教——足球要回家了！

[–]【The Netherlands】Shalaiyn 264 points 4 hours ago

Hey Guardiola, can you come coach Ajax or something?

我说瓜，你有兴趣来带阿贾克斯什么的吗？

[–]【Belgium】volar92 558 points 4 hours ago*

2010: Guardiola Manages Iniesta

2014: Guardiola Manages Gotze

2018: Guardiola Manages De Bruyne

2010：瓜执教伊涅斯塔

2014：瓜执教格策

2018：瓜执教德布劳内

[–]【Liverpool】Bazlow 578 points 4 hours ago

I like this version less.

这个版本我就没那么喜欢了。

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[–]Rooonaldooo99 4139 points 4 hours ago

Crowd shots of Sweden at the World Cup 2018:

Ridiculously attractive women

Crowd shots of England at the world cup:

Shirtless bald brexit blokes with a sunburned beer belly

世界杯瑞典球迷镜头：

美到不敢信的妹子

世界杯英格兰镜头：

光头光膀子英国大汉，晒得跟猪头一样还挺个啤酒肚

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@斯特林单刀不进

[–]【Bayer 04 Leverkusen】kallist 1200 points 6 hours ago

unreal pass from henderson

亨德森这传球太风骚了

[–]【Shamrock Rovers】HongKongChicken 412 points 5 hours ago

Sideways pass merchant

分边传球批发商

[–]【Tottenham Hotspur】RomoisGOAT 148 points 5 hours ago

He was probably facing Southgate mate think about it

他传球的时候可能面对索斯盖特吧，变向分边了

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[–]【Barcelona】splettnet 1162 points 6 hours ago

If you look closely, you can see at the last moment he remembers he"s in his England kit.

要是你仔细看的话，你会发现他最后一刻意识到，一定要对得起英格兰快乐足球这身球衣。

[–]【Liverpool】blueorcawhale 443 points 6 hours ago

Sterling misses sitters with City all the time lol

斯特林在曼城也是经常吐饼哈哈哈

[–]【Liverpool】I647 215 points 5 hours ago

Did the same for us. He just loses his composure.

在我军也是。他一单刀就慌得一笔。

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[–]【Spain】GreatSpaniard 1021 points 6 hours ago

Sterling is England"s Higuain

斯特林就是英格兰的伊瓜因

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[–]【Switzerland】Peteygassy 980 points 6 hours ago

Pass it to Kane you idiot

传凯恩啊你个白痴

[–]【Colombia】Masterkid1230 409 points 6 hours ago

Fucking hell. Kane was right there, wasn’t even a hard pass. And he definitely saw him there. What an idiot.

他妈的。凯恩就在面前，这传球都没难度。而且他肯定也看到凯恩了。真是傻缺。

[–]【England】mu_37 197 points 6 hours ago

Felt like watching a car crash in slow motion. You just knew how it"s going to end.

像是看慢动作回放撞车。你已经知道结果，就是看个过程。

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[–]【Spain】GreatSpaniard 1021 points 6 hours ago

Sterling is England"s Higuain

斯特林就是英格兰的伊瓜因

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