【吐槽双声道】墨西哥年年十六命真苦 内马尔哭天喊地全靠唬

今天，足球天空小毅给大家分享阿鲁姆带来的《【吐槽双声道】墨西哥年年十六命真苦 内马尔哭天喊地全靠唬》。

吐槽双声道，一档无节操翻译栏目，主要素材来自国外吐槽社区reddit的足球版r/soccer，通过二次加工制造接地气笑点！

@巴西 2-0 墨西哥

[–]【Borussia Dortmund】Zladan 945 points 3 hours ago

Seriously wanna know how much money The White Stripes earn for Seven Nation Army being played at every fucking sporting event across the planet.

真心想知道白条（乐队）靠“七国联军”这首歌挣了多少钱，全地球只是要是体育比赛都能听到这曲子。

[–]【Burnley】liampointfive 236 points 2 hours ago*

strange song in that people chant along with the melody of it as opposed to the lyrics

这歌很奇怪，所有人都会跟着旋律唱，但是唱不出歌词

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[–]【France】dadouks 711 points 5 hours ago

Fun fact : Mbappé wasn"t born when Marquez played his first game for the Mexican team

趣知识：马克斯第一次代表墨西哥上场的时候，姆巴佩甚至还没有出生

[–]【Belgium】Ericshawn_be 421 points 5 hours ago

Marquez is so old, he actually met the Mayas.

马克斯太老了，老到他都见过玛雅人了。

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[–]【Juventus】charizard77 636 points 4 hours ago

Fox commentator:

"Brazil have not scored from a set piece since the one against Serbia"

...

That was literally the last goal they scored

Fox解说：

“巴西自从对塞尔维亚之后就没进过定位球了”

……

这不就是上一场比赛的事吗

[–]【Arsenal】Haboob_AZ 230 points 4 hours ago

Fox commentators are idiots.

Fox的解说都是智障。

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[–]ShenTheWise 496 points 4 hours ago

don"t be mean to Marquez, he did a pretty good job against Pele in 1970

别对马克斯要求高了，1970年对贝利的时候他防得很好

[–]【Mexico】kisalas 263 points 4 hours ago

I know people like to joke about it, but he really hasn"t been the same since his 9th World Cup.

我知道大家都喜欢嘲笑他老，但是他自从第9次参加世界杯之后就真的不行了。

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[–]LordBlessTheAtheism 796 points 3 hours ago

The decision-making of Mexican players in the final third was atrocious.

墨西哥球员在禁区前沿的决策力真是捉急。

[–]【El Gouna】PharaohLeo 271 points 2 hours ago

Selfish glory hunters.

都是自私自利追名逐利的。

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[–]Rooonaldooo99 1997 points 3 hours ago

Ochoa MVP for Mexico. He saved their butt so many times and held them in the game for so long.

奥乔亚是墨西哥全场最佳。无数次给球队擦屁股而且不是他的话，墨西哥早就完了。

[–]【Argentina】saywhatagain_ 1420 points 3 hours ago

ochoa could have saved my parents" marriage

奥乔亚本可以拯救我父母的婚姻

[–]Rooonaldooo99 983 points 3 hours ago

No sorry, that"s entirely your fault.

对不起，那完全都是你的锅。

[–]【Sweden】randomperson2704 276 points 3 hours ago

He really does show up for the NT every time

他每次在国家队是真的发挥好

[–]【England】PoppinKREAM 156 points 3 hours ago

Every World Cup hes played in he has been amazing

他参加过的每一届世界杯都打得很好

[–]【Bristol City】buurp 236 points 3 hours ago

The reverse David de Gea

反德赫亚

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[–]【Real Madrid】Number333 1202 points 3 hours ago

Brutal for Mexico. Not nearly as heart-breaking as 2014 considering they never led like they did against the Netherlands but that Sweden match will haunt them considering the side of the bracket they could have been on.

对墨西哥有点残忍了。不过不如2014年那届心痛，毕竟这次从头到尾也没领先过，但是瑞典那场比赛肯定会让他们后悔，要是赢了的话对手就好打多了。

[–]【Manchester United】Seb-sama 899 points 3 hours ago

South Korea died for this

韩国的牺牲白费了

[–]【Tottenham Hotspur】TheodoreP 210 points 3 hours ago

After such a heroic start, it"s a shame that is has ended the usual way.

一顿操作猛如虎，年年十六命真苦。

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[–]【Mexico】Man0nTheMoon915 1446 points 3 hours ago

Another World Cup, another Round of 16 exit. A different story every time with the same ending. Hopefully some day in my lifetime we can get past the Round of 16. The next generation of Mexicans is looking good too.

Maybe someday we can get to the....QUINTO PARTIDO

又一届世界杯，又一次十六郎。每次故事不同但结局相同。希望我这辈子有一次能看到球队突破十六强。墨西哥的下一代球员看起来很强。希望有一天能打到……第五场比赛

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[–]【Brazil】iagooliveira 366 points 3 hours ago

I feel bad for Ochoa. He always plays World cups with so much intensity and the rest of the team lets him down.

真为奥乔亚难过。他在世界杯总是打得这么疯，但是队友总是让他失望。

[–]NiceRice1 142 points 3 hours ago

honestly if this was any other keeper, even neuer, it would have been more than 2-0...

说实话换别的门将，就算是诺伊尔，这球都不止2-0……

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[–]【Republic of IrelandSnowstandards 702 points 3 hours ago

Feel bad that Mexico couldn"t pull the trigger and get a goal. For such an unpredictable World Cup, this was a result our brains seen coming, but our hearts didn"t. Hard luck Mexico and GG Brazil.

墨西哥没法扣下扳机取得进球，真是难过。这届世界杯这么多冷门，这场比赛的结果我们能想到，但不愿看到。墨西哥运气差了点，巴西打得好。

[–]【England】Voidrive 372 points 3 hours ago

Nothing shame for losing to Brazil.

输给巴西没什么丢人的。

[–]【Tottenham Hotspur】TheodoreP 131 points 3 hours ago

Brazil are probably the only top side to really look solid at the back. Mexico had their chances because they are a dangerous team, but this Brazil side seems to have the grit as well as the talent to go all the way.

巴西可能是这届唯一一支后防线看起来真正稳固的球队。墨西哥机会是有，因为他们是一支进攻很有威胁的球队，但是这支巴西看起来真的既有勇气也有实力走到最后。

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[–]【South Korea】stonayoung 948 points 3 hours ago

Mexico and getting knocked out in the round of 16s

Name a more iconic duo

墨西哥和世界杯十六郎

还有比这更搭配的词组吗

[–]Rooonaldooo99 1381 points 3 hours ago

Neymar and the ground

内马尔和满地打滚

[–]【Internacional】micossa 271 points 3 hours ago

Tite and unconditional love for Gabriel Jesus

蒂特和亲儿子热苏斯

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@内马尔遭踩踏满地打滚

[–]Arnioo 5476 points 4 hours ago

RIP NEYMAR 1992 - 2018

安息吧内马尔 1992-2018

[–]【Austria】Accomplished_Active 1577 points 4 hours ago

RIP NEYMAR 1992 - 17.6.2018, 22.6. 2018, 27.6.2018 and 02.07.2018

安息吧内马尔 1992-2018年6月17日、6月22日、6月27日和7月2日

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[–]blacklugia134 3001 points 4 hours ago

Yeah he stepped on him but neymar looks like he had a fucking seizure. How are these guys not embarassed to do this.

是的拉云是踩了他，但是内马尔这抽得跟癫痫发作了一样。这不知道这哪来的碧莲好意思做这种动作啊。

[–]【Australia】tofilteridiocy 943 points 4 hours ago

Neymar is a grown man.

This is what a man looks like.

Yikes

内马尔已经是个成年人了。

成年人这个德行。

恶心

[–]【Chelsea】Soren_Camus1905 319 points 3 hours ago

He’s just a really old child.

他只是一个老男孩而已。

[–]【Manchester United】teletraan1 8105 points 4 hours ago

Acts like someone took a chainsaw to his ankle

这演得跟有人把他腿锯了似的

[–]unwildimpala 5248 points 4 hours ago

Amazing how quickly he got back on the pitch after having his ankle amputated tbf. Neymar is one tough cookie.

说实话，被人截肢之后这么快就能站起来重回球场。内马尔真是意志力顽强。

[–]CaptainNoBoat 1264 points 4 hours ago

They should defer to let him back on after that display and insist he go to the intensive care unit.

内马尔表现这么痛苦，他们应该拒绝让他出场，坚持送他去重症监护才对。

[–]branstarktreewizard 577 points 4 hours ago

immediately strap to a gurney and airlifted to the emergency room

立即绑上单价直升机空运到急症室

[–]【PSV Eindhoven】Jacquesie 1385 points 5 hours ago

There"s gonna be a time where he actually breaks something and everybody will just think it"s one of his antics again and there"ll be no rush whatsoever to aid him

总有一天等他真的受伤的时候，所有人都会以为又是在演戏，根本没人跑过去进行急救什么的

[–]【Peru】ControvT 1020 points 6 hours ago

This already happened in 2014, in that match vs. Colombia that caused him to miss the Germany match. That hit in his back was nasty, and I remember everyone was like “oh, Neymar, such a diva.” at first.

2014年就已经发生了，对哥伦比亚那场，让他错过对德国比赛的那场比赛。对他背上来的那脚其实很脏，但我记得当时所有人一开始都说“哦，内马尔，演技真好。”

[–]【FC PrishtinaI】TsLoverBoy 702 points 5 hours ago

The boy who cried wolf

狼来了

[–]【Manchester United】Seb-sama 310 points 6 hours ago

Neymar is a fragile being, a mosquito landing on him could fracture his bones ffs!

内马尔是易碎品，一只蚊子停在他身上都能让他骨头断！

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[–]【Liverpool】fr0gnutz 691 points 6 hours ago

The back of layuns foot was also on the refs foot and the ref didn’t roll around like a bitch

拉云的脚还踩到了裁判的脚，裁判咋没哭天喊地跟个娘们儿一样

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[–]【Liverpool】-JKN- 6130 points 6 hours ago

Fucking embarrassing, I know he steps on his ankle, but him rolling around as if he’s been stamped is ridiculous

太丢人了，我知道拉云踩了他的脚踝，但是他这滚得像是被蹬踏了一样，太荒唐了

[–]【Germany】kaOz1985 1119 points 6 hours ago

Someone get a doctor . I think Neymar is dying

快去叫医生啊。我觉得内马尔要死了

[–]Angela_Morkel 583 points 6 hours ago

Fuck it, man. Get a priest. Dude looks like he’s outta the exorcist

滚蛋啊，找牧师啊。这家伙看起来是驱魔人里那种中了邪的

[–]【Egypt】CasualAustrian 4569 points 6 hours ago

it"s a disgrace to be honest. little kids imitate this shit when they play. diving is the most shitty thing these world class players can do

说实话真的很可耻。小孩子踢球的时候就会模仿这些动作。假摔是这种世界级球星做的最没品的事情了

[–]【Croatia】JustANotchAboveToby 1427 points 6 hours ago

There’s diving, and then there’s acting like you lost your ankle

假摔是一回事，演得跟脚踝被人踩断了一样是另一回事

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[–]【Newcastle United】jjbh1 2725 points 6 hours ago

Such an overaction Jesus Christ. Should be embarrassed.

真是太夸张了我天。给自己丢人。

[–]erldn123 2004 points 6 hours ago

His teammates don’t even go over to check he’s ok

They just know.....

他的队友都懒得上去关心他了哈哈哈

他们都懂的……

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