【吐槽双声道】皇马榨尽C罗九年转手还赚钱？上帝从不会贬值！

今天，足球天空小毅给大家分享阿鲁姆带来的《【吐槽双声道】皇马榨尽C罗九年转手还赚钱？上帝从不会贬值！》。

吐槽双声道，一档无节操翻译栏目，主要素材来自国外吐槽社区reddit的足球版r/soccer，通过二次加工制造接地气笑点！

@C罗转会尤文图斯

[–]【Barcelona】kunalc 7205 points 3 hours ago*

Also, FIFA 19 has Ronaldo on the cover wearing a Madrid jersey. They"ll have to change all their promotional stuff I guess.

以及，FIFA19封面是穿皇马球衣的C罗。现在他们所有的宣传都要推倒重做了。

[–]【Real Madrid】ProperProfessional 3850 points 2 hours ago

Poor Alex Hunter, he wanted to play with Ronaldo at Real so bad. :(

可怜的亨特，他做梦都想去皇马搭档C罗啊。 :( （一球成名模式的梗）

[–]【Barcelona】kunalc 790 points 2 hours ago

They also have to update Ronaldo"s ratings now

以及现在连C罗的评分也要改了

[–]FakeAccount_Verified 544 points 2 hours ago

More like they will have to update Juventus. At least now we won’t have to hear that damn song every other gave in online matches.

更有可能是要更新尤文的评分。

[–]【Juventus】zeshie 256 points 2 hours ago

That’s less awkward than if Ronaldo wins the Puskas award this year for scoring against his own club.

比FIFA更尴尬的是，到时候C罗今年拿了普斯卡什奖，被他进球的是他的自家俱乐部。

[–]【AEK Athens】Mesartic 554 points 3 hours ago

Same thing as Kyrie and 2K last year.

去年2K的欧文也是。

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[–]【Barcelona】Tammar99 3470 points 3 hours ago

El Clásico is certainly going to feel weird now

现在国家德比的感觉肯定很奇怪了

[–]【Barcelona】arctiquer 1486 points 2 hours ago

Surely! It"s one of the most important pages of football that was just turned: The Messi:Ronaldo rivalry within the Bar?a:Real rivalry. As much as I don"t like his style, I"ll miss Ronaldo in La Liga.

肯定的！足球史上很重要的一页就这样翻过了：皇马巴萨敌对下的梅罗对峙。虽然不喜欢他的风格，但我会想念有C罗的西甲的。

[–]【FC Porto】Mdiasrodrigu 328 points 2 hours ago

Also remember the Mourinho:Guardiola rivalry. It sucks when this things end

还记得当年的穆瓜对决。这种事情完结这是让人感觉很糟糕

[–]【Barcelona】hawksking 432 points 2 hours ago

Yeah, we can all agree this is a huge loss for La Liga.

是的，我们应该能一致同意对于西甲来说这是一笔巨大损失。

[–]【Croatia】badblueboy146 576 points 2 hours ago*

Messi should go to whichever Italian club is Juve"s biggest rival. I guess Milan?

edit: after a couple replies it is apparent that Juve"s biggest rival is everyone else in Serie A

梅西应该去任何意甲任何意甲尤文死敌。我猜去米兰？

编辑：看了几个回复之后发现，意甲每一家都把尤文当死敌一样踢

[–]cheesyqueso 670 points 2 hours ago

Or go to Juve for the memes of a dream team

或者直接去尤文完成梦之队的梗

[–]【United States】kdiuro13 498 points 2 hours ago

Juventus State Warriors FC

尤州勇士队

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[–]【Liverpool】bridgeorl 3265 points 3 hours ago

It took Juventus months to finally agree to sign Emre Can on a free and they just bought Ronaldo in the space of like a week

Wtf

尤文免签一个埃姆雷-詹搞了1个月，然后买C罗差不多一周就搞定了

什么鬼

[–]【Tottenham Hotspur】ascetic_lynx 1158 points 3 hours ago

I mean if you were thinking about buying both, which would it take you longer to decide you wanted

我想说要是换你买这两个，你觉得哪个你需要考虑更久一点

[–]【AC Milan】AlbieBaruch 258 points 3 hours ago

Juve Just earned money on this deal. Ronaldo pays for himself, big win for Juve and good for Serie A in general.

尤文这笔交易已经赚了。C罗等于是免费加盟，对尤文来说是大获全胜，对意甲总体也是件好事。

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[–]【Crystal Palace】CompanionNoob 1806 points 3 hours ago

Juve fans to clap Messi when he scores a goal against them.

Guaranteed to get him to sign next year.

今年被梅西进球的时候尤文球迷再给梅西鼓鼓掌。

明年加盟就稳了。

[–]【Latvia】LatvianMafia 959 points 3 hours ago

Ronaldo and Messi finally together... at Juventus.

梅罗终于会师在……尤文。

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[–]【England】ShockRampage 4727 points 3 hours ago

Hide yo Salahs, hide yo Hazards, Madrid got money to burn.

藏好萨拉赫、藏好阿扎尔，皇马有钱可烧了。

[–]【Canada】Izcanbeguscott 1414 points 3 hours ago

I"ll drive Salah there just so he can tell them himself to fuck off

我会亲自开车送萨拉赫去皇马，让他告诉皇马滚远点

[–]【Tottenham Hotspur】TheodoreP 570 points 3 hours ago

He"d run faster.

他自己跑的话还快点呢。

[–]【Chelsea】angry__-panda 668 points 3 hours ago

Hazard is shit, Madrid should get Sissoko

阿扎尔就是狗屎，皇马应该去买西索科

[–]【Tottenham Hotspur】khj24 348 points 3 hours ago

Now we are talking

孺子可教

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[–]【Bethlehem Steel FC】racinginthestreet14 723 points 3 hours ago

I guess he really appreciated that standing ovation after his bicycle kick.

我猜他是真的很喜欢倒钩之后尤文图斯的鼓掌致意。

[–]【England】twiggez-vous 314 points 3 hours ago

Seriously, that may have been an important factor psychologically.

讲真，这个可能是一个非常重要的心理因素。

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[–]【Arsenal】terreblanche14 4454 points 3 hours ago

And like every other 30+ y.o. player that joins Juventus, he just got 10 years younger .

Well I, for one, am ready for another 10 years of seeing this fucker scoring more goals than games played in Champions League .

就像所有30岁以后去尤文的球员，C罗又获得了10年球龄。

好吧我本人，已经准备好看这个场均进球大于1的怪物再战10年了。

[–]【England】Selgin 960 points 3 hours ago

Would’ve liked to have seen him at Burnley oh well

我也想看看他在伯恩利踢球啊

[–]【England】DannyboyLFC 382 points 3 hours ago

Imagine what ronaldo would become under dyche

在戴奇手下C罗会变成什么样子难以想象

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[–]【Manchester United】stinsonlegend 1082 points 3 hours ago

Bloody hell, Real Madrid sold him at a profit after 9 years.

我天啊，皇马用了9年之后卖了还赚钱了。

[–]【Real Madrid】Mista_Madridista 615 points 3 hours ago

Gods don"t depreciate.

上帝是从不贬值的

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[–]【Real Madrid】dntowns 556 points 3 hours ago

Alright time to quit and reload from last save....

好了是时候S/L重头再来了……

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[–]【Manchester United】xtrmx 295 points 3 hours ago

Buffon crying he didn"t continue with Juve in the CL for 1 more year

没有再和尤文续约1年打欧冠的布冯已经哭晕在厕所

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[–]【Brazil】Tybalt42 396 points 3 hours ago

2009: Real purchases a 24 year-old Cristiano for €94 million.

2018: Real sells a 33 year-old Cristiano for €100 million.

2009：皇马9400万签下24岁的C罗。

2018：皇马1亿卖走33岁的C罗。

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